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What enabled Stephen Policoff, an award winning novelist, to carry on
in the wake of the deaths of both his wife and daughter.
When Stephen Policoff's young daughter Anna was diagnosed with a rare, fatal illness, he and his wife, Kate, refused to surrender to despair. They built a family—adopting a second daughter, Jane—and found joy in music, friendship, and love, even as Anna's health declined. Then tragedy struck again: Kate was diagnosed with late-stage cancer, leaving Stephen to raise both girls alone.
A Ribbon for Your Hair is a profoundly moving memoir of resilience, medical mystery, and the enduring power of love in the face of unthinkable loss.
How do you go on when your world shatters—twice?
When Stephen Policoff's adopted daughter Anna was four, a freak accident sent her to the ER at Manhattan's Saint Vincent Hospital. Within hours, he and his wife, Kate, were reeling from two blows: first, a false accusation of child abuse, and then the shocking news that Anna had a mysteriously enlarged liver and spleen.
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About Stephen Policoff
Stephen Policoff's first novel, Beautiful Somewhere Else, won the James Jones Award and was published by Carroll & Graf in 2004. His second novel, Come Away, won the Dzanc Award and was published by Dzanc Books in 2014. His third novel, Dangerous Blues, was published in 2022 by Flexible Press. He is clinical professor of writing in Liberal Studies at NYU. Several pieces of this memoir were first published in december, Riddlebird, Entropy Literary Journal, and Oyster River Pages. A section on Anna's joyous experience in music therapy won the Fish Short Memoir Award in 2012, and subsequently appeared on music therapy websites around the world.
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REVIEW
Policoff, an author and New York University writing professor, offers perceptive reflections on grieving in this masterfully written memoir.
The author recounts a series of personal tragedies: the death of his wife, Kate, in 2012, following a monthslong battle with lung cancer, and, three years later, the death of their 20-year-old daughter, Anna. Much of the narrative centers on Anna, whom he and Kate adopted in China and brought back to Manhattan in 1995. Anna was diagnosed in 2000 with Niemann-Pick C, a rare genetic disorder that inhibits the body's ability to remove certain lipids, causing them to accumulate in the spleen and liver, among other tissues. Anna, despite knowing that she likely wouldn't live past the age of 13, maintained a cheerful spirit, writes Policoff, and won the esteem of seemingly everyone she met. As her condition worsened, and as Kate began showing cancer symptoms, Policoff battled mounting health care costs, uncooperative private school administrations, and feelings of despair and anger. The author, a creative writing instructor at New York University, avoids excessive sentimentality and has taken care to structure the story in a way that makes his memories meaningful to the reader by rendering himself and his loved ones sympathetically but honestly. The greatest strength of the book, though, is its style: The language is precise and, at certain moments, lyrical. It's reassuring to read a memoir by someone who demonstrates such devotion to language and an eye for the telling detail, as when describing hummingbirds hovering above tiger lilies, "placid deer munching on crab apples," or the surreal image of a violinist entering the room where Anna has just died, playing one of her favorite songs.
A sharp-eyed, frequently poetic exploration of love, family, and parenting in the shadow of tragedy.
— Kirkus Reviews
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